Master Of The Mud
Recently I was commissioned to write the score and libretto for a musical about Valhalla. I so enjoyed the creation of some of the pieces, I will give you, my Redlings, a sneak peak! To the tune of Master of the House from Les Miserables Welcome, newbie, sit yourself down, And meet one of the best there is around As for the rest, some are quite good, But there are some are dumber than wood Seldom will you see A greater one than he A gent with self intent Who proclaims to be Master of the MUD, wows them with the charm Ready with a quick wit and made up song Tells a funny tale, always makes a stir If your daughter's hot you'll wanna keep an eye on her! Always helps out with a favour, Always does he treat you nice, Unless you are a moron Or disdain his sound advice! Master of the MUD, Keeper of the Zoo Ready to regale 'em with a song or two Mocks you if you whine, Master of the Bait Draws them in and gets them so they can't think straight Everybody loves his lordship Everybody's bosom friend He does what he pleases But he'll still be here at the end. Master of the MUD, quick to catch your eye, Young and old alike, they all love that guy! Mentor to the poor, jester to the great, A ranger/fighter/healer and a lifelong mate! Everybody's favorite champion! Everybody's chaperone! His words can be teasers, Pleasers, or they'll wound ya to the bone! He's beyond compare, he's beyond belief! I heard in a past life that he was a thief! Strength of an ox, reflex of a cat, Never lose a fight and you can bet on that! Always gets a warm welcome To every hail he replies Sometimes he'll even Take your name and acronymonize! Drab Red Ermine Kilt, Plastic Lympho Mice Interrupted Silica Slot Advice! Daunting Avid Elf, Xenos Arcing Reed He Even Uses Light Foil Like Old Desks You Need! When it comes to using wordses There are lots of tricks he knows! And it's never ending, his ego is extending! Blazes! It's amazing how it grows! (In wanders a small girl all dressed in blue, sucking her thumb) I dweamed a dweam once, but now all I do is cwy! And the Master of the MUD is the single weason why! Master of the MUD? I didn't vote for him! Does he think that he's the boss of us just on a whim? When he talks to me, he has a nasty tone I'm so scared of him I just wish he'd leave me alone! What a cwuel twick of nature, I'm always covered in blood How long can I last against the Master of the MUD? (back to the chorus singing, overpowering and ignoring the small child) Master of the MUD, Maestro of the Staff Combatter, philospher And makes you laugh! Mentor to the poor, jester to the great, Singing to amuse or to confustigate! Everybody loves his lordship! Agarwaen Gix, the Grateful Red! Everybody raise a glass! To a character with such class! Everybody raise a glass to the Master of the MUD!